Photo courtesy of J at You Got Squared.
Oui, J'adore...
Mais, je ne parle pas du Christian Dior though I do love that perfume and its beautifully shot campaign. I'm talking about something that should come so naturally amongst us but sadly, it does not. I'm not sure when exactly I made a conscious declaration to pay more attention to this curious phenomena but I have noticed something more and more these days.
What is it you ask? Well, here's the deal: if you disagree with me, please feel free to put your hands up in the air and say it isn't so! But if you do agree with me, promise me you'll take the time to leave a comment here and then share this post to pass the word around, yes? Have we got ourselves a deal ma ladies and dapper gentlemen?
I have keenly observed two very bizarre aberrations. A - Why is it so hard for people to accept compliments graciously? Time and again, I've noticed that there is an actual unease and instant awkwardness whenever someone is presented with praises and compliments. Most of the time, we (I admit I am guilty of this too), women especially, tend to either: downplay the admiration, brush off the adulation, change the subject, fire off an instant "you look great too" or thank the person so profusely, it almost sounds like an apology.
B - the second anomaly I've noted is something I can comprehend even less than Point A as this has nothing to do with the external world. It is not dependent on what others say and how they see you. This is all about you and how you view yourself and your qualities. Having taught fitness and yoga for almost 10 years and having been invited to judge numerous beauty pageants, it always sort of disappoint me whenever I see girls/women get hesitant over the question - what do you like most about yourself?
Let's think about that for a moment, shall we? Now, let me ask you - what do you like best about you? It may be your quick wit, your charming smile, your expressive eyes, your prominent nose, your adorable freckles, luscious hair, strong arms, infectious laughter, great body or unshakable sense of loyalty. If there is one thing I know for sure (now, even I sound like Oprah!) is that there is something so unique and fantastic about you and I want you to tell me and the world what that is!
For me, I love my legs! Surprising now, isn't it? I know, it was a tough choice but I thought it's a practical choice as these legs are pretty strong! They carried me through all the rigorous work-outs and trainings I had to pass thru the years, they walked me through all the trials and tribulations and they danced me through all the special and unforgettable moments of my life!
Tell me my darling, what do you like what about yourself?
19 comments:
I agree with what you just wrote ML.
I would have to say that I love my heart. Hmmm... That sounds kind of funny noh? LOL! I like that despite all the pain and hurt I have gone through, my heart still has the capacity to heal and love, again and again! :3
Another thing which would be equal with my heart is my determination. :P I have always been told that I am stubborn and while I acknowledge that it is true I also know that I can do anything once I set my mind on it. :D
I am not only in love with what you chose as your absolute best features M-T but I'm also in love of the way you said it.
I've got much respect for you that despite of all the heartaches and pain, you can still give and love again!
besitos para ti!
- ML
Darling It was great meeting you this weekend. and I believe women are afraid that taking a compliment will mean that they are arrogant? at the same time I also feel that some women really dont know just how beautiful they are....Its a crazy world we live in.
I totally agree with A Fine Balance. Plus, let's be honest, there's a lot of unnecessary cattiness in the world today, and I think that a lot of girls (myself included sometimes) don't believe that the compliments are genuine and don't want to appear gullible - or just don't have the confidence to believe them!
Great topic ML! I think it is sad that girls are taught at a young age that we are valued by our looks more so than by our abilities and for some reason we learn to compare ourselves to others. There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, richer, kinder, taller, thiner etc etc but we have to learn that there is only ONE of us!!! And that ONE of us is perfect! :)
As for the compliment thing, I'm completely guilty of that, I've learned to just say thank you and then I usually divert the attention to where I might have got the article of clothing or something related to the compliment but to be honest it DOES make me uncomfortable, but in a good way. I beleive the majority of us out there want to attract attention but most don't want to be the centre of attention.
It is also sad that women are the biggest critics of other women. We should all be sticking together and building each other up. But we are all guilty of this, especially when it comes to celebrities. We feel they are "fair game" since they are in the spotlight, but they are just people too!
I think blogging and being an Avon rep has helped me with my confidence for sure! We are all different, special and unique and I think we should all just embrace it!
Great topic! I love my legs, too! They are super strong and athletic. And they're what will carry me through my first half-marathon in 2 weeks!!
As for the compliments thing, I was one of those people who had a hard time accepting compliments until my mid-20s. That's when I started simply saying, "Thank you." Full stop. It felt so awkward when I first said it, but once I got used to it, it became my default. Saying thank you acknowledges the compliment and it also shows your gratitute to the giver. But it doesn't take away from the effort you put into your looks, your project or whatever it is you're being complimented for.
i love this!! it is so true.. i'm super guilty of complimenting a girl back if they say something nice about me.. and whenever my husband tells me he thinks i'm beautiful or something i always roll my eyes and say.. "sure"..
your legs are hot girl!! i would have to say i like my hair the best :)
Ooooh, this is like my Fabulous In February feature with Hope, except that we don't have to come up with as many things! :)
I'm going to say my hair. I have pretty good hair.
And I love your legs too!:)
Come take a look inside A Working Mom's Closet
Great legs! I love my tata's lol (sorry had to put it out there) :-)
A Girl's Next Best Friend
It truly is sad that women have a hard time taking a compliment and answering such a simple question. What do i love...my smile. Your legs are fab!
xx
Hot Pink Day
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When I was younger I always had a hard time accepting compliments. I would hear them but not really take them in, and then compliment the person back. Now I just say thank you. My favorite thing about myself? I have always loved my red hair, and my eyes.
ML, that is a gorgeous shot. J really knows how to capture your beauty :) Love those awesome shoes, too, and of course, your legs are fierce.
As for the compliments thing, I think women for the most part are often taught to be more humble in actions, which might explain why it's hard for us to accept compliments -- sometimes just accepting them can seem too boastful or vain. But I've come to just accept compliments with a smile and taking them for what they are -- a genuinely nice thought from someone else! I don't have a problem complimenting others, though :)
If I had to choose an attribute of my own to like, I'd probably choose my hair :)
I have adorably small ears. Maybe that's what I should say when I look in the mirror rather than: "my nose is too big, and I don't have a chin!!"
I love my scars. I have a surprising amount of them, but they show the battles I've fought. Stretch marks show my fight to grow up, surgery scars to heal from stupid choices, and small scars that no one gets through life without being touched by.
I read a line in a book describing a woman and her scars, and it changed my view of what were flaws into something I feel gives me strength.
I agree with Sidewalk Chic that we are taught to not only be humble, but we all seem to have this idea that we aren't worthy. As much as our modern cultures push for perfection, we self-deprecate until our self-concepts are skewed out of proportion. Sad, but true.
First, I must say that your legs are fabulous! My goodness. Hot! And a wonderful composition by J. The lighting and contrast is beautifully done. If I was to make a photobook of fashion this would be in there. A whole page to it self.
Now down to the emo part of this comment. I fully agree that most people appear and most likely feel humble when receiving a compliment. Being one of them, my mom says I tend to ignore and even forget verbal compliments. A Fine Balance and Sidewalk Chic says what I mostly feel is the reason, that we are trained to be humble in fear that we'll appear arrogant.
Answering that question in the B section is hard, even after a day of intermittent pondering. Most of my answers that I though about giving, I don't feel like they are true.
Posts like these are sooo important. Receiving compliments didn't always come so easily to me, but I realized it was far more gracious to just accept them than to play them off. Sometimes when I'd compliment someone and they'd play them off, it felt like my compliment didn't mean anything to them, when it was actually really heartfelt. So I learned to accept them outwardly...then at some point, I learned to accept them inwardly too and BELIEVE them. :)
Women are taught to be humble. Humble isn't necessarily a bad thing until it crosses over into insecure. That's one of the reasons Kam and I started our blog. We thought it was about time gals stopped apologizing for being amazing! We wanted to focus on ways to increase confidence and have fun with it. Life's too short not to truly appreciate yourself. You don't want to look back on your life when you're a little old lady and wish that you had thought more of yourself, because by then, trivial things won't matter. Take your chance NOW.
Now, onto what I love about MEEEEE!!! ;) My favorite thing about my body right now is my ever-growing pregnant belly. :) It was hard to adjust to in the beginning, but now I can't stop checking it out every time I can catch my reflection somewhere! I have an unusual eye color (very light green), which is what people usually notice about me first. They always think I'm wearing contacts. For the me inside, I can be really silly and goofy.
Oh, P.S. - you DO have great-looking legs. :) But I really love how you love them for what they do for you. For anyone out there who has a hard time coming up with something they really love about their appearance, try starting out by appreciating your body parts for what they can DO. They do all kinds of things for you every single day because they were designed to...and that's pretty beautiful.
Kay. I'm going to answer you. After reading your email to remind me to answer then Jen and Kams comment, I gave it sine more thought.
I love my eyes. They are a green hazel and can change with lighting, moods and accent colours. The lashes are long and curled nicely. About four years ago, I got a really weird infection on the left one which left me with a huge chunk missing from my lashes. It was really upsetting for years because the one thing I liked about myself was now deformed. But I also had to count my blessings. I could have lost my sight or ended up with all the lashes missing.
My eyes are what I depend on for work. I work with people. I observe and assess behaviour. My eyes will let me see all information and things that people tend to miss. These little things I see can sometimes help a person be better understood or helped out in some way.
On a more vain note: In the last year I've become better at applying falsies. Even though I don't wear them everyday. They are fun for special occasions or events. And apparently according to some people, the lack of lashes on the left eye results in my eyes looking different colours from eachother. Kind of cool.
Plus sometimes I can people horror stories about not sharing mascara, or using old eye makeup, not washing your hands at hospitals or using eyelash curlers when they rudely ask what happened. Not only do I hopefully freak them out a bit but I send them a strong hygienic message.
So true on both of these. When did accepting a compliment become akin to showing off? When did we lose the ability to do this?
Personally, I like my eyes. They have the fantastic ability to change colour depending on the day, the light and what I am wearing.
PS Love the colour combination in that photo.
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Love to hear from you! Your kind comments truly make my day!
oxo
ML
Twenty York Street
www.twentyyork.com
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